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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

King of Denmark...FORTINBRAS!


Osric brings in the new King of Denmark.. Fortinbras, for them to only find 4 dead bodies in the floor- King Claudius, Gertrude, Laertes, and Hamlet. The ambassadors from England enter only to inform that Rosencrantz and Guildenstern have been killed also! So that makes six! After hearing the story of Hamlet, Fortinbras decides that Hamlet deserves a soldiers burial, and soldiers come in and take his body.. I am sad that I had to watch my son die and I couldn't even do anything about it, but I am glad he did it with good intentions, and I am just thankful that we can all be together again. As I said before, I'd make sure Claudius went straight to HELL. I'm glad I can have my wife and son back, though! And Hamlet can have Ophelia back too. This afterlife may not be as bad as it seems.



Au revoir, bloggers!
Old King Hamlet OUT.

Don't everyone die at once?


Today, Hamlet decided to apprehend Rosencrantz and Guildensterns letter to England. He found out that they had ordered for his death, and this really set him off. He then devised a replacement letter that ordered that THEY be killed! How clever!! Then, Osric comes in or Hamlet's and Horatio's conversation and says that the King has ordered that he and Laertes have a contest of swordsmanship, and Hamlet agrees to the challenge. All the royal figures gather to watch. Hamlet apologized to Laertes for going off on Gertrude and killing Polonius, and he accepts it, but he still wants to fight. Right before they are about to fight, Claudius proposes that Hamlet take a drink.

WTF is wrong with him. He is trying to poison my boy! Hamlet wins the first and second point, and Gertrude is so very proud. In fact, she is so proud that she decides she will toast to Hamlet's health and well being! She picks up the cup of poison and DRINKS IT! While all this is going on in the background, Laertes strikes Hamlet with the poisoned sword in the back! Then, Hamlet ended up with Laertes sword and strikes him with it, putting a wound is his back also! Hamlet takes the sword and wounds Claudius with it, too, and takes the cup of poison from his dead mother and forces the liquid into the Kings mouth, killing him also. Laertes asks for Hamlet's forgiveness, then dies from the poison. THEN Hamlet dies!!! His last request was that Fortinbras became King of Denmark.. wtf. This is s messed up..


The ever-confused OKH.

R.I.P. Ophelia


Today, Ophelia committed suicide. After the loss of her father, she drowned herself. Poor Hamlet, though. He doesn't know yet! The grave diggers who are digging her grave are talking smack, though, and I'm about to get mad. They question her deservedness of hollow ground since she killed herself. Let the poor woman rest in peace. She hasn't had it easy..


Then, the next thing I knew, Hamlet and Horatio pop up while the grave diggers are tossing skulls around! Sensitive ol' Hamlet had a maaaajor problem with this. The grave diggers start telling Hamlet how long it takes a body to decompose and rot in the ground. He tossed Hamlet Yorick's skull. That broke Hamlet's heart. He KNEW Yorick! Gah.. how sad! But as if that isn't bad enough, Hamlet and Horatio notice that they are standing distanced from a funeral! Hamlet, being the smart lad he is, noticed that the funeral isn't elaborate at ALL, and this signifies a suicide. Laertes tells Hamlet that the dead body is Ophelia's, and Hamlet has yet another mental breakdown. When will my poor boy get a break? :( Rest In Peace Ophelia!! We miss you. I will post pics of Hamlet and Ophelia from a while back.

Bye bye Hamlet


I watched my son as he sailed off to England today. That Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are stupid for trying to help Claudius out and take Hamlet to England to be executed. All I have to say is, thank GOD for those pirates, because if Hamlet had died and Claudius got away with murdering me, I just don't know what I would do. Hamlet's on his way back now. He's meeting up with Horatio and we'll see how things go from there.


I can't believe Hamlet went off on Gertrude the way he did today! Hooooolyyyy helllllll! That was insane! What would drive him to show such immoral disrespect to his mother, and my ex wife? I thought he was going to kill her next! My God.. he was on a freakin' rampage! So I popped in and called him over. Poor Gertrude. She was looking at him like he was STUPID. I know she thinks Hamlet is mad.. she has to! Hamlet then told his mom that he was leaving for England, and he drug Polonius' dead body from the room. C-R-A-Z-Y times in the castle..

What is going on!?!

My son killed Polonius today! Not Claudius, but POLONIUS! I clearly told him who he needed to kill, and he has let several great opportunities surpass him! What is going on? I don't understand. I'm being sent down from purgatory to help Hamlet avenge my death.. but he is just chickening out! If he has the gnads to kill Polonius, why can't he kill Claudius? I'm so disappointed.... man, if I could transform back into a human for just ONE minute.. you know who I'd be after!! ......



Until next time.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Best day EVER!


Today, Claudius REPENTED! He cried, prayed for forgiveness, and admitted to his sins that have made him feel ever so guilty. It's about time that man grew an emotion. Maybe now he will realize that the pain and distress that he has caused my son to endure will all be transformed into revenge and thrown right back in his face! Doesn't he know that Young Hamlet and I are a team? Doesn't he realize that to kill your brother, to commit the eldest sin in history, is just plain WRONG? Does this man think? Seriously! He's a fool if he thinks he's going to be forgiven for this - by God, by me, Hamlet, anyone in the kingdom! He'd be a FOOL!




A little uneasy,
OKH

My crazy boy!

I'm so proud of young Hamlet! I floated around watching the Players performance tonight, and boy did I enjoy seeing the look on Claudius' face! He looked absolutely disgusted! Amazing! The way Hamlet acted so crazily was really convincing! I just hope he isn't really going crazy. I know that Ophelia girl is putting him at his wit's end, but I have all the faith in the world in my son. I know he can pull through! Though, if he has one more thought of suicide, I might have to show my ass! Or my ghost-like mermaid tail.. whatever. Either way, Hamlet is going to conquer, and the Hamlet family WILL prevail!!!!



As faithful as EVER!
OKH

So I finally told Hamlet.....


Today was a big day.. I told Hamlet all about his Uncle/Step-Father Claudius, and what a crook he was. He took my wife, he took my position as King, he took my LIFE, he took everything from me. He will regret it.. Oh boy, will he ever. I told Hamlet all about how he poisoned me to kill me off. Jealousy is a cruel, cruel emotion, I tell ya. Not only has he done this, but he is also telling the entire kingdom a bunch of bull crap about me and my death! I can't BELIEVE this character! He's going straight to hell, and I will be sure of it! The only problem is, is I'm not sure if Hamlet really believes that I am his father or not! For some reason, I get these weird vibes from him that instigate his distrust in me.. Oh well.. I guess the entire kingdom is in for a rude awakening.....


Until next time,
OKH

Monday, October 19, 2009

Those Mortal FOOLS


So, it's one o'clock in the morning and I'm finally about to creep up on Marcellus and Bernardo and make them wet their big boy panties. As of right now, I'm just chilling over behind some bushes blogging and.. oh! Here's my cue! BRB.





Okay, I'm back behind the bushes now. Whoo! What a thrill. Those fools are trying to get Horatio to come witness my appearance. I'm thinking of making them sound as dumb as they look, but if Horatio wants a show, I'll give him one.

BRB again.



Woooow. So I popped all up in their grill looking like Old King Hamlet and whatnot, when Horatio starts trying to ask me what I am. Like I'm actually going to answer that.. Puhhhh-LEASE. I'm listening to them talk about why they think I am here. They think that it's because I have a message for them.. something about the war in Denmark. Horatio thinks he knows, though. He knows that I am here because Fortinbras is trying to win back the land that his father lost. That must be why he asked me if I had a message about the country's fate or about treasure, but he's not getting any answers out of me, OH no. Especially not after Marcellus swung at me with his partisan! If that's not a bunch of bull then I don't know what is!

VFN! (Vanishing For Now),
The Ghost